| | It's strange to use the term "fiance." I've been playing around with it in my interactions with strangers. My prejudice makes itself known in the uncomfortable way the word rolls around in my mouth--I feel so pretentious! But I try it anyway.
I think I'll start using the term "betrothed" as well. You can thank M.M. Kaye for that as I've just devoured her less famous novel, Shadow of the Moon.
It's not strange at all, however, to introduce you to our little Gummy Bear. These were taken on June 10th.
What IS strange about all of this is how invisible Derek has become to most of the people we know. We'll walk out the door together and the neighbors, who Derek has known longer than me, and despite the fact that Derek has just asked how they were doing, look right past him and ask how "mama" is doing.
My family members are the only people I know that actually ask after him as an individual capable of independent thoughts, feelings, and decisions. The irony here is that I've never been one to discuss my personal affairs with acquaintances so I'm ready to just talk about me and my cramps, vomit, exhaustion, and my vacillating (D's word) hormones, moods and calorie intake when I get to the house. Meanwhile, my folks are asking after Derek's health, work, latest disc golf tournament, and that friend he was just talking about the other day. I love them for it.
One last tidbit: My mom told me today about how my Grama had thought she was dying of throat cancer during her first pregnancy because she didn't know what heartburn was.
I can relate to this. I am convinced that I've got breast cancer. I'm convinced in the way that a child is convinced the monster in the darkness will eat them if they leave a single body part out of the covers and I recognize the childishness of it. ...but I know we won't find out until it's in its latest stages and I'll either have to go through immediate treatment (obviously not a choice while I'm pregnant) or forgo treatment (and thusly forfeit my life and leave my only child to live without their mother).
Now that I think about it, my great-grandmother did die of throat cancer and mine has been bothering me lately... A mother's worries start early, I see.
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| | Posted 7/13/2008 12:11 AM - 12 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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