| | Derek thinks I'm too hard on others when I'm mulling over the whole 'life's rules' thing. It's quite possible. I certainly look down on people whose lives are governed by the silent rules others have created for them. It's judging, I know. I'm working on my judging.
And still I'm left with a sour taste in my mouth after every conversation that's filled with awkward pauses and sentences unfinished because someone is uncomfortable with their own judgments of me. I'm going in the wrong order, I should be working--especially considering the situation I've gotten myself into, etc. It seems being giving, thoughtful, caring, hard working is not enough. One must also be fastidiously scrupulous with the thoughts others might have of one's actions (and even one's thoughts!) at all times.
I find myself wary of other people's motives, even Papa Smack's.
I know I have expectations for others. After watching this joyous event be secretly twisted and gnarled into invisible aches of stress to fester in the back of my mind, I think I'll work on being more aware of what those expectations are and how they affect the people around me.
Reading Pride and Prejudice again sounds like a good place to start. =o)
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| | Posted 6/17/2008 10:11 PM - 7 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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